[Note: Thanks, all, for your patience with my blog-negligence and vacation. On a personal note—though I usually like to keep these posts as impersonal as possible—writing has been hard for me lately because I am having some eye problems. Seriously, I had to set the text at 26 points today to be able to see it, which must be really funny to see on a young-person’s computer. Hopefully, this will be remedied soon. In the meantime, please enjoy the post].
Philosophers, like most academics, like to think of themselves as incredibly unique individuals. You may have noticed that your philosopher likes to consider themselves a person untouched by societal pressures and norms. One thing that philosophers especially like to think they are unique about is their manner of dress.
Philosophers do really tend to dress differently than most non-philosophers, but they still generally fall within several philosopher-dress categories. Here are a few that I’ve noticed.
[Note: There can be cross-overs in all the categories. For example, a Free-Ranger might also be a Same Five Shirts].
Same Five Shirts
This category of philosopher can be combined with any other philosopher-dress category. This philosopher wears the same five shirts and/or same five outfits. Same Five Shirts philosophers have many reasons for wearing the same clothes, among their reasons are (1) lack of money, (2) they only like five shirts, (3) they don’t really care about clothing, (4) they feel guilty about buying more clothes when there are so many people in extreme poverty in the world, or (5) they are really picky about their clothes and have to go to extreme ends to purchase exactly what they want.
They have a lot of clothes, but these clothes may or may not have been popular twenty years ago.
Edgy philosophers are often tattooed or pierce body parts besides their ears. They often wear leather, spikes, chucks, and black. Edgy philosophers may or may not die their hair funky colors or shave it all off (this includes females, of course).
Oh, hipster philosophers. All of you know what a hipster is, right? Philosophers sometimes dress like hipsters (skinny jeans, black-rimmed glasses, suspenders, TOMS shoes).
This philosopher wears organic cotton, hemp, vegan shoes, neutral colors (no synthetic dyes), and/or re-purposed clothing.
This philosopher only wears expensive and/or expensive-looking clothing; usually tailored suits. An expensive philosopher will always have expensive-looking haircuts and accessories, too. They will always look their best, even during breaks.
T-shirts, cargo shorts, and sandals are the loafer’s favorites. When occasions call for dressing up, the loafer may wear a button-down, short-sleeved, cotton shirt. Sometimes, they also wear loafers without socks.
This philosopher always has something untucked, unbuttoned, askew, wrinkled, stained, and/or ripped. They really do not mean to be a messy-pants, but they just can’t help it.
This philosopher may not be a Christian kid, but they sure dress like one. Christian-Kid philosophers wear very modest clothes such as off-brand polo shirts, cargo shorts, capris, tennis shoes, cardigans, flats, and/or blue jeans. Male philosophers of this variety will always tuck in their shirts. They tend to also keep their haircuts and styles fairly modest and predictable.
Some philosophers are whispers of the previous categories, but are too poor to really follow through completely with the philosopher-style.
What are some other philosopher-dress categories that you’ve seen?
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